Saying No to Spending Without Losing Friends

Summer is in full swing which means more people will be planning outings and attending events. While it sounds like fun, a lot of these events cost money, which may derail your spending and savings goals. Mastering the art of saying no to spending without the crushing fear of losing out or losing friends, is a skill anyone can learn.

Here are a few approaches to saying no without actually saying no.

Offer Alternatives

A great way of saying no to spending is to offer alternatives. Saying, “Unfortunately I am unable to participate, but what about…..” lets your friend know that while you cannot do what they’re suggesting, you are giving other options to show you honestly want to spend time with them.

Here is an example of what offering alternatives could look like:

A group of friends want to get together to have dinner and catch the latest chart-topping movie. Instead of declining the invite, offer to have a movie night at your place and have everyone attending bring their favorite snack or drink.

• Most streaming services (and you probably subscribe to at least one) offer new or original movies that are just as entertaining.
• Depending on the number of people you invite, you will likely have more food and drinks available than you would at a restaurant, for half the cost.

Talk About Spending Goals/Limitations

Talking to others about your financial situation can be difficult, but remember, everyone’s lifestyle and financial situation is different. You may feel uncomfortable or even feel like you’re being selfish by putting your goals and needs before theirs. This is common, and with a little practice, the conversation becomes easier.

At times the only option is to decline an invite. Explain your decision and reasoning without going into a lot of detail, and thank them for thinking of you. True friends and family will understand.

Set Spending Limits/Make a Compromise

Evaluate your budget and savings now and start putting money aside for events. A friend’s bachelor/bachelorette party, wedding, or family vacation is bound to happen at some point. Prepare in advance by saving some money every week so you know what you can safely spend.

Don’t use all your “event” fund for one event. Set a limit on how much of that savings you will use and stick to it. Other events are sure to happen and having a cushion in that account will ensure you can attend that event as well.

If the event is at the last minute and you don’t have a separate “event” fund established, make a compromise. Allow yourself to utilize a certain amount from your savings, knowing you’ll need to make some adjustments over the next few weeks or months to replenish what you used.

Be the Planner

Ultimately, the best way of saying no to spending is not having to say no at all. Being the planner allows you the ability to still see your friends and stay in control of your spending.

Research free events happening in your area. Look for restaurants that have happy hour discounts and plan your outing around them. 

Instead of a night out at the bar to catch up with friends, plan an afternoon meetup at a local coffee shop or park. You’ll spend less money and be able to talk and catch up without too many distractions.

It’s important to remember that saying no to spending is not something to be ashamed about. Looking out for your overall mental health should be your number one goal. Diamond’s HERO Financial Counselor, Monica Kurtz, stated, “the fear of missing out is just a trick to get you to spend. You’ll find your bank account finally starts growing the moment you quit trying to prove you’re ‘living your best life’ by spending money you don’t have.”

If you need help evaluating your budget and setting up an event type savings account, Diamond’s HERO Financial Counselors are available. Schedule an appointment to talk to a HERO Financial Counselor today.